How To Make New Friends As An Adult

Since I decided to embark on new adventures and travel around the world discovering new cultures and meeting new people, I often get asked about how to find new friends as an adult. I’ve lived in three very different regions of the world, as well as different cities within these regions, so I’ve gained quite a bit of experience in this area. The most important thing to know is that making new friends as an adult is both fun and very possible.

For many of us, it was easy to make friends while we were younger. Even if you were shy, being around other kids at school and in the neighborhood made it simple to form connections with others. As adults, it’s a little more complicated and might take a bit more effort. It can be quite daunting, especially when moving to a new city or country, but EVERYONE can do it!

When I first left my home country of Cuba, many of my childhood friends had already moved to the US and settled in Miami (of course!) so I felt more comfortable moving to the new country. I didn’t think there would be any issues living in Washington DC and later NYC. After all, in Cuba you can easily get from one city to another and stay close with friends all over the island. I was excited to start a new chapter in my life and for all the amazing things freedom would bring for me.

However, I was in for a surprise! The fact is that even if you have great friends (I’ve had the same BFFs since I was a teenager), the USA is HUGE! If your friend group doesn’t live in the same city or state, you’ll probably find yourself thinking the same thing I did: I need to make new friends. 

I’m used to the very social nature of life in Cuba, so moving to NYC was a little difficult for me. There are so many people in the city, and it seems like all of them are part of well-established friend groups that are impossible to break into. It could be intimidating!

I only knew one girl in the area and she lived in New Jersey. On top of that, she was more of an acquaintance when I first moved there. Thankfully, she became one of my best friends and I adore her. I wouldn’t have been able to make it in NYC without her encouragement when I was looking for my first job in the city and her help when I was finding my first apartment in Manhattan. Thanks Jennifer!!

That’s just my own story! I’ve learned that there are many other reasons why you’ll find yourself wondering how to make adult friends. Some people look for new friends because they just moved to a new place like me, others have been caught up in long term relationships and lost touch with old friends, and others just want a clean, drama-free start in life. If someone found it more difficult to make friends while still in school, doing it in real life could seem even scarier! But all of us have to do it at some point: me, you, and even our favorite celebrities.

So if you’re struggling with how to make friends in your area and you’re asking “How do I make friends as an adult?” here is some advice about friendship and some tips on how to make adult friends. I’ve used these in the past, and I’m always on the lookout for new friends all over the world.

Where To Make Friends As Adults

There are obvious places that everyone tells you to go to find new friends: the office, the gym, church, etc. What they don’t tell you is that you have to put yourself out there in order to make those connections that will eventually become your friends. Some people might judge you and others might think you’re weird, but as Coco Chanel once said,

“In order to be irreplaceable one must always be different.”

People like uniqueness! 

So when you’re at the gym or the office, you’ll have to get out of your comfort zone to actually make friends. You need to talk to people! It’s not easy, especially if you’re a little shy (like me!) so here are a few tips that could help. 

Complement people and have some ice breaker questions ready. For example: “Hi Kate, I love your skirt. Where did you get?” The next time you see her, mention how you went to that store or website and loved the latest collection. If you guys can connect about something like that, it’s easy to suggest taking a coffee break together to break up the monotony of work (this is easiest if you work in the same company, since you can just walk over together and don’t have to coordinate). From there, just let the conversation flow naturally! Hopefully you’ll connect about a few different things and start a friendship. Even if it’s just clothes, you can still have someone to discuss outfits with and maybe even got to a fashion show or exhibit. Once you’re at that point, you’re probably friends!

Friendships are not made in a day, so don’t get discouraged if it takes you several months to get to know new people and to make new friends. My 1st year in NY I only knew a few people. Many of them were in relationships while I was single, and others didn’t live close to the city. So I ended up going to a lot of cafes, restaurants and bars by myself. Lots of other people I know did (and still do) the same. It’s not weird or uncommon at all, especially in a big city.

Which brings us to another one of my favorite ways to make friends as an adult. A cafe, a restaurant or a bar (especially during sports events) is actually a really good place to meet new people! These are usually social places by nature, so don’t be afraid to talk to others! Obviously use basic social cues, but many people hang out, study, or work in cafes or coffee shops so that other people will be around them. If you become a regular at your neighborhood’s popular hangouts, you’ll get to meet other people who do the same (and who are probably your neighbors!). You can always talk about the area, especially if you just moved in, and ask for restaurant suggestions and fun things to do in the community. 

Another great option is to ask a friend, neighbor, or coworker to introduce you to someone with similar interests as yourself! Most people are quite nice and willing to help you when you move to a new place or simply decide to put yourself out there. So ask for help! It’s a bit intimidating and they might not always have someone in mind, but if you don’t try then you’ll never know!

Another useful way to meet new people and make adult friends is by joining a club. Many people think of something like a book club, but there are actually tons of other options! Cooking club, sailing club, and language club are some of the ones I’ve seen in my area. You can always use google to find the one you like nearby, or simply start your own and advertise it to others! Some brochures in the local coffee shop are a great way to spread the word.

Last but not least is…online! Nowadays almost everything is done online, and it’s no longer strange at all to find your future husband or wife through an online dating site. So, why would it be any different to make friendships? After moving to NYC, I decided to try my luck at making friends through an app online. Some of the best options include Bumble BFF, Tinder Social, and Friender. Others are more specific: ATLETO helps you find people to play sports with, while Meet My Dog lets you connect with other dog owners to make friends while your fuzzy babies play together. Much like dating apps, these often show you the profile of your potential friend (with a picture and description) and you can choose to connect or not. I personally like ones where you connect with a group of people. Apps like Meetup, Squad or CLIQ allow you and some current friends to match with other groups of friends and all meet up together for something. This can be a great way to feel more comfortable in the situation especially if you already have a few friends or acquaintances looking to be a bit more social as well. This is great because you can meet more people at the same time. The more people you meet, the better chances you’ll have at making friends and really connecting with some.

It’s definitely easier to do this in big cities like NYC, LA, and London, whether it’s because of their social cosmopolitan soul or simply because of the amount of people living there. If you are wondering how to find new friends in a small town, there might not be as many resources simply due to the size of the population, but I can assure you it can be done! The great thing about smaller areas is that they tend to have a closer community. Everyone knows each other, so meeting new friends through current acquaintances becomes that much easier. Likewise, any established clubs or sports teams are probably very cohesive, so joining one is a gateway to making great friends. It’s also easier to see the same people in diners or coffee shops in a small town, so making a connection and starting a friendship that was is much more common.

Don’t forget that you can always find people through Instagram or Facebook as well! If you’re wondering how to make new friends on Facebook, head to the “friends events” section and you’ll be able to connect with tons of people. The best part is, they’ll often have something in common so you’ll be able to have an instant connection with them if you want to go!  

Always remember that:

“Friends are the family you get to choose for yourself.”

So choose wisely, but don’t be afraid of choosing!

Life with friends is easier! Having a confidante and someone to support you and help you in a time of need is priceless! Friends can make you healthier and happier, and you’ll often become a better version of yourself when surrounded by the right people.

Now that you have some new ideas on how to make new friends, you’ll soon have people to go on dream weekend getaways and discover the world with! So head to our Travel Guides section to get the best travel inspiration!

To learn more about our wellness tips and advice, click here! For more Travel Tips here!

Join our community and don’t miss new articles and ideas! Subscribe with your email address below to receive periodic updates about our latest stories and travel destinations!

Lastly, please share your own thoughts about making new friends as an adult! I would love to hear about your own personal experiences in the comment section below. 

Besitos,

Laura

---

MORE WELLNESS ARTICLES: